You must be my karma, because I finally understood how Ryan feels from a superficial level. One less deeper than he feels for me. Much, less deeper. This is merely an infatuation, a karmic infatuation that is driving me nuts. I don't even know your name for goodness sake! And oddly, I don't want to. When you've learned to adore a person from afar, it brings your perspective to another degree adjacent to nothing else but perfection. It's not the same, not anymore. Meeting a hottie in the club, dance & kiss & fall in love. Then life happened, & fell out of love. No, this is another book.
Your simple lean on the wall, the moments you caught me looking at you, an immense concentration laid out on squinted forehead, your soundless greetings from far away, your smell when you brush right across me. 2 hours with you & to say I have died and revived is an insult to this very very intense infatuation. I cannot let you run through my mind anymore. Aren't you tired? Cause I am. & I will self-combust if this goes on.
I am infatuated with just the way you are. If it weren't for the drop dead affection attraction, I would easily and proudly list out your every visible flaws. My eyes are locked on you, your flaws glow with perfection. How is it possible? Your very very deep dimple shoots me like an arrow from a cupid. Stop smiling, you fool! You smile, I flutter. My ferocious heart now wants to abandon my body and shoot rocket high. Stop smiling, you pretty fool.. Your smiles are only aches to me. My palms are lifted to my chest, an auto reaction of reaching within to resume all blood flow to my heart. How can my heart possibly, sensibly ache & squirm when you've obviously stolen my heart already?
I don't want to know your name, I don't want to see you in anything else but your uniform. You, are the unison of perfection and authority, beauty and flaws, kindness and tenderness. I don't want anything or anyone or you to ruin this celestial image of a fallen star. You're a hope.
Would you think I am obsessive if you ever found out about this?
