Confide in me?

I think I most probably bombed an airport my past life, I'm always at the airport KILLING TIME and it's KILLING ME! Like I sort of owed to the airports that I have to suffer the pain of boredom.. I officially have 2 more hours to burn.. I'm heading back to Singapore from KL to fly to San Francisco via Hong Kong! ahh! Imagine my fate with airports! Just the smell of it makes me wanna puke now..
Confiding in this blog is the best thing to do now, I don't feel like literally telling anyone about this but yet I need to let this out.. Sean has been confiding his feelings to a girl, seriously?! I know I suck at being a girlfriend, that my boyfriend or rather both current and ex boyfriends just love to seek comfort from someone else! Is it really me? Am I not good enough? I can't help but start doubting myself again.. Maybe I AM not a girlfriend material, maybe I should become a mistress? Would that be easier? At least expectations aren't that high so I won't feel so crushed all the time when things isn't going the way it's supposed to be..
How does being single feels like again? I wonder how I survived 17 years without someone to love and someone to love me.. The thought of not having someone to think about before sleep or someone to bug when I'm bored is scaring me! :( I swear I'd go crazy if I rejoin the singlehood club.. No wait, I think I'll have someone to think about before sleep, someone whom I loved so much but to know that someone else's in his arms now would hurt more.. so so much more.. :'(
But isn't loving someone about wanting the best for them? If I'm not the best, then maybe I should let the better one take him?
I don't want a broken heart, I don't want to play the broken-hearted girl.. :(

Till my wound doesn't hurt that much,
Mea
09/09/2010 11.15am (GMT +8)



- Posted using Baby Blossom..